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BOOKLETS  IN  \EW  &  FANCY  BINDINGS, 


BLESSING    OF    CHEERFULNESS    (THE).      By    the 

Rev.  J.  R.  Miller,  D.D. 

CHILDREN'S  WING  (THE).     By  Elizabeth  Glover. 
CONFLICTING  DUTIES.     By  E.  S.  Elliott. 
CULTURE  AND  REFORM.     By  Anna  Robertson  Brown. 
DO  WE  BELIEVE  IT  ?     By  E.  S.  Elliott. 
EXPECTATION  CORNER.     By  E.  S.  Elliott. 
FAMILY  MANNERS.     By  Elizabeth  Glover. 
GENTLE  HEART  fTHE).     By  the  Rev.  J.  R.  Miller,  D.D. 
GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND    IDEALS.     By  the  Rev.  J.   R. 

Miller,  D.D. 
GOLDEN  RULE  IN  BUSINESS  (THE).     By  the  Rev. 

C.  F.  Dole. 

HAPPY  LIFE  (THE).     By  Charles  W.  Eliot,  LL.D. 
J.  COLE.     By  Emma  Gellihrand. 
JESSICA'S  FIRST  PRAYER.     By  Hesba  Stretton. 
KING    OF  THE   GOLDEN    RIVER   (THE).     By  John 

Ruskin. 

LADDIE.     By  the  author  of  "  Miss  Toosey's  Mission." 
LOVE  AND  FRIENDSHIP.     By  Ralph  Waldo  Emerson. 
MASTER  AND  MAN.     P,y  Count  Lyof  N.  Tolstoi. 
MISS  TOOSEY'S  MISSION.     By  the  author  of  "Laddie." 
PATHS  OF   DUTY   (THE):    Counsels   to  Young  Men. 

By  Dean  Farrar. 

REAL  HAPPENINGS.     By  Mrs.  Mary  B.  Claflin. 
SECRETS  OF  HAPPY  HOME  LIFE.     By  the  Rev.  J. 

R.  Miller,  D.D. 

SHIPS  AND  HAVENS.  Bv  the  Rev.  Henry  Van  Dyke.D.D. 
STILLNESS  AND  SERVICE.     By  E.  S.  Elliott. 
SWEETNESS  AND  LIGHT.     By  Matthew  Arnold. 
TALKS  ABOUT  A  FINE  ART.     By  Elizabeth  Glover. 
TELL  JESUS.     By  Anna  Shipton. 
TOO  GOOD  TO  BE  TRUE.     By  E.  S.  Elliott. 
TWO  PILGRIMS  (THE).     By  Count  Lyof  N.  Tolstoi. 
VICTORY  OF  OUR    FAITH'(THE).     By  Anna  Robert- 
son Brown,  Ph.D. 
WHAT    IS    WORTH    WHILE.       By    Anna    Robertson 

Brown,  Ph.D. 

WHAT  MEN  LIVE  BY.     By  Count  Lyof  N.  Tolstoi. 
WHEN    THE    KING    COMES    TO    HIS   OWN.      By 

E.  S.  Elliott. 
WHERE    LOVE    IS,    THERE    GOD    IS    ALSO.      By 

Count  Lyof  N.  Tolstoi. 
YOUNG  MEN  :  FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.     By  the  Rev. 

J.  R.  Miller,  D.D. 


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GIRLS: 

FAULTS     AND     IDEALS. 


A  FAMILIAR   TALK, 

WITH 

QUOTATIONS  FROM  LETTERS. 


BY 

J.  R.  MILLER-  D.D. 

AUTHOR  OF  "WEEK-DAY  RELIGION,"  "PRACTICAL  RELIGION," 

"SILENT  TIMES/'   "COME  YE  APART," 

"MAKING  MOST  OF  LIFE,"  ETC. 


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BOSTON:  too  PURCHASE  STREET. 


COPYRIGHT,  1892,  BY 
THOMAS  Y.  CROWELL  &  Co. 


C.  J.  PETERS  &  SON, 
TYPOGRAPHERS  AND  ELKCTROTVPKRS. 


PRBSS  WORK   BY  ALFRED   MUDGE   &  SON. 


GIELS  :   FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 


"  Cleanse  thou  me  from  secret  faults."  —  PSA.  xix.  12. 
"The  King's  daughter  is  all  glorious  within :  her  clothing 
is  of  wrought  gold."  —  PSA.  xlv.  13. 

ri~"!HE  religion  of  Christ  has  something  to  say 
-*-  to  every  man,  woman,  and  child,  in  every 
relation,  on  every  day,  in  every  experience  of  life. 
It  is  not  something  for  Sundays,  and  for  prayer- 
meetings,  and  for  sick-rooms,  death-beds,  and 
funerals :  it  is  just  as  much  for  the  school-room, 
the  play-ground,  the  store,  the  kitchen,  the  street. 
Wherever  you  may  chance  to  be,  if  you  listen 
you  will  hear  a  voice  behind  you  whispering, 
"  This  is  the  way  ;  walk  ye  in  it."  The  Bible 
is  the  Word  of  God,  our  Father's  will  concerning 
his  children;  and  it  has  something  to  say  each 
day,  at  every  point  of  experience,  to  every  one  of 
us.  I  want  to  help  the  girls  and  young  women,  if 
I  can,  to  hear  a  little  of  what  Christ  has  to  say  to 
them. 

It  is  good  for  us  to  see  ourselves  as  others  see 
3 


4  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 

us.  Hence,  I  have  asked  a  number  of  Christian 
young  men  to  give  me  answers  to  certain  ques- 
tions, and  from  these  I  have  quoted  in  this  famil- 
iar talk.  I  take  two  of  these  questions,  viz.  : 

1.  "  What  are  some  of  the  most  common  faults 
in  young  women  of  your  acquaintance  ?  " 

2.  "What  are  some  of  the  essential   elements 
of  character  in  your  ideal  of  true  young  woman- 
hood ?  " 

We  shall  think  then  of  common  faults  and  of 
ideals.  The  first  text  I  have  chosen  is  a  prayer 
for  the  cleansing  of  faults.  The  second  is  a 
description  of  the  life  that  pleases  God. 

"  Cleanse  thou  me  from  secret  faults."  Is  there 
one  of  us  who  does  not  from  deepest  heart  pray 
this  prayer  ?  I  pity  that  man  or  that  woman  who 
does  not  long  to  be  cured  of  faults,  whatever  they 
are,  however  painful  or  costly  their  removal 
may  be. 

Some  one  says,  —  and  the  words  are  worthy  of 
being  written  in  gold,  —  "  Count  yourself  richer  that 
day  you  discover  a  new  fault  in  yourself,  —  not 
richer  because  it  is  there,  but  richer  because  it  is 
no  longer  a  hidden  fault ;  and  if  you  have  not 
found  all  your  faults,  pray  to  have  them  revealed 
to  you,  even  if  the  revelation  must  come  in  a  way 
that  hurts  your  pride." 


GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  5 

Mr.  Kuskin  has  this  word  also  for  young  women  : 
"Make  sure  that  however  good  you  may  be,  you 
have  faults ;  that  however  dull  you  may  be,  you 
can  find  out  what  they  are ;  and  that  however  slight 
they  may  be,  you  had  better  make  some  patient 
effort  to  get  quit  of  them.  .  .  .  Therefore  see  that 
no  day  passes  in  which  you  do  not  make  yourself  a 
somewhat  better  creature ;  and  in  order  to  do  that 
find  out  first  what  you  are  now.  ...  If  you  do 
not  dare  to  do  this,  find  out  why  you  do  not  dare, 
and  try  to  get  strength  of  heart  enough  to  look 
yourself  fairly  in  the  face,  in  mind  as  well  as  in 
body.  .  .  .  Always  have  two  mirrors  on  your  toilet 
table,  and  see  that  with  proper  care  you  dress  both 
the  mind  and  body  before  them  daily." 

These  words  show  us  the  importance  of  the 
prayer :  "  Cleanse  thou  me  from  secret  faults." 
We  all  have  our  faults,  which  mar  the  beauty  of 
our  lives  in  the  eyes  of  others.  Every  noble  soul 
desires  to  grow  out  of  all  faults,  to  have  them  cor- 
rected. The  smallest  fault  mars  the  beauty  of  the 
character;  and  one  who  seeks  to  possess  only 
"  whatsoever  things  are  lovely "  will  be  eager  to 
be  rid  of  whatever  is  faulty.  Ofttimes,  however, 
we  do  not  know  our  own  faults  :  we  are  uncon- 
scious of  them.  We  cannot  see  ourselves  as  oth- 
ers see  us.  The  friend  does  us  a  true  kindness 


6  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 

who  tells  us  of  the  things  in  our  character,  hab- 
its, manners,  which  appear  as  blemishes,  although 
many  people  have  too  much  vanity  to  be  told  of 
their  faults.  They  resent  it  as  a  personal  insult 
when  one  points  out  any  blemish  in  them.  But 
this  is  most  foolish  short-sightedness.  To  learn 
of  a  fault  is  an  opportunity  to  add  a  new  line  of 
beauty  to  the  life.  Our  prayer  each  day  should  be 
that  God  would  show  us  our  secret  faults,  whatever 
messenger  he  may  send  to  point  them  out,  and 
then  give  us  grace  to  correct  them. 

The  young  men  who  have  replied  to  my  question 
concerning  the  faults  of  young  women  have  done 
so  in  most  kindly  spirit,  for  to  a  noble  soul  it  is 
always  an  unwelcome  task  to  find  fault :  it  is  much 
easier  to  name  the  beautiful  things  in  those  we 
love  than  the  blemishes. 

Several  writers  have  referred  to  the  matter  of 
dress.  One  says,  "Too  much  time  is  given  by 
many  young  ladies  to  dressing.  They  scarcely 
think  of  anything  else."  Another  names,  "The 
love  of  dress,  the  inordinate  desire  to  excel  their 
companions  in  this  particular,"  as  among  the  com- 
mon faults  in  young  women,  adding  that  it  has  led 
many  of  them  to  ruin.  Another  says  they  like  to 
make  themselves  attractive  by  conspicuous  colors, 
and  suggests  that  if  they  would  spend  less  time  in 


GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  1 

shopping  and  more  in  some  elevating  occupation, 
for  example  in  making  home  brighter  for  brothers 
and  parents,  it  would  be  better. 

"Following  fashion  to  an  extreme  that  is  un- 
becoming and  often  extravagant;  too  great  at- 
tention to  outward  adornment  at  the  expense  of 
inner  adornment,"  another  marks  as  a  too  prom- 
inent fault.  We  all  remember  that  St.  Peter  has 
a  word  about  dressing  :  "  Whose  adorning,  let  it 
not  be  that  outward  adorning  of  plaiting  the  hair, 
and  of  wearing  of  gold,  or  of  putting  on  of  apparel ; 
but  let  it  be  the  hidden  man  of  the  heart,  in  that 
which  is  not  corruptible,  even  the  ornament  of  a 
meek  and  quiet  spirit."  Every  young  woman 
should  dress  well,  that  is,  neatly,  tastefully, 
modestly,  whether  she  be  rich  or  poor.  Con- 
spicuous dressing  is  always  vulgar.  True  refine- 
ment avoids  anything  showy  and  flashy :  it  never 
dresses  better  than  it  can  afford,  and  yet  it  is 
always  well  dressed,  even  in  simple  muslin  or  plain 
calico. 

Another  fault  mentioned  is  the  lack  of  moral 
earnestness.  "  Frivolity,  arising  from  want  of 
purpose  in  life,"  one  names,  "  even  the  most  sacred 
duties  and  relations  being  marred  by  this  frivo- 
lousness.  The  best  years  of  life  are  wasted  in 
small  talk  and  still  smaller  reading,  tears  and 


8  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 

sighs  being  wasted  over  a  novelist's  creations, 
while  God's  creatures  die  for  want  of  a  word  of 
sympathy."  Another  names,  "  Frivolity,  want  of 
definiteness  of  purpose."  Still  another  says  :  "  The 
giving  of  so  little  time  to  serious  reflection  and 
for  preparation  for  the  responsible  duties  of  life. 
In  other  words,  frivolity  of  manner,  shallowness 
of  thought,  and,  as  a  consequence,  insipidity  of 
speech,  are  strongly  marked  faults  in  some  young 
ladies."  This  writer  pleads  for  deeper,  intenser 
earnestness.  "Young  women  will  reach  a  high 
excellence  of  moral  character  only  as  they  prepare 
themselves  for  life  by  self-discipline  and  culture." 
Another  puts  it  down  as  "  A  want  of  firm  decision 
in  character  and  action,"  and  says  that  too  often, 
in  times  "when  they  ought  to  stand  like  a  rock, 
they  yield  and  fall ; "  and  adds  :  "  The  young  ladies 
of  our  land  have  power  to  mould  the  lives  of  the 
young  men  for  good  or  for  evil." 

There  is  a  caution  in  these  words  which  every 
young  woman  should  heed.  Life  is  not  play,  for 
it  has  its  solemn  responsibilities,  its  sacred  duties ; 
and  eternity  lies  beyond  this  little  span.  I  call 
you  to  earnestness,  moral  earnestness.  Determine 
to  make  the  most  and  the  best  of  your  life.  Get 
an  education  to  fit  you  for  life's  duties,  even  though 
it  must  be  gotten  in  the  little  fragments  of  time 


GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 

that  you  can  redeem  from  busy  days.  Life  is  too 
short  to  crowd  everything  into  it.  Something  must 
always  be  left  out.  Better  leave  out  many  of  your 
amusements  and  recreations,  than  grow  up  into 
womanhood  ignorant  and  with  undisciplined  in- 
tellectual powers.  Train  your  mind  to  think.  Set 
your  ideal  before  you,  —  rich,  beautiful  woman- 
hood, —  and  bend  all  your  energy  to  reach  it. 

Some  of  these  letters  speak  of  the  common  talk 
of  girls  as  being  largely  idle  gossip ;  criticisms  of 
absent  people ;  unkind  words  about  persons  whom 
the  ladies  would  meet  with  warm  professions  of 
friendship  and  fervent  kisses  if  they  were  to  come 
in  a  minute  later. 

Dear  girls,  I  plead  for  sincerity  in  speech.  Do 
not  yield  to  the  passion  for  miserable  gossip  which 
is  so  common.  Talk  about  things,  not  people.  Do 
not  malign  or  backbite  your  absent  friend.  What 
is  friendship  worth  if  the  moment  the  person  is 
out  of  sight  the  tongue  that  has  professed  affection 
becomes  a  poisoned  fang,  and  the  lips  which  gave 
their  warm  kiss  utter  the  word  of  ridicule,  or  sneer, 
or  aspersion  ?  Better  be  dumb  than  have  the  gift 
of  speech  to  be  used  in  the  miserable  idle  words, 
insincerities,  and  backbitings  too  common  in  mod- 
ern society.  Surely  something  better  can  be  found 
to  talk  about ;  if  not,  utter  silence  is  more  heaven- 


10  GIHLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 

like.  A  stupid  girl  who  cannot  talk  at  all  is  better 
far  than  a  chattering  girl  who  can  talk  of  nothing 
good  or  useful. 

"  Find  thou  always  time  to  say  some  earnest  word 
Between  the  idle  talk." 

One  mentions  "  want  of  reverence  for  sacred 
things  "  as  a  sad  fault  in  some  young  women.  He 
has  seen  them  whispering  in  the  church  and 
Sunday  school,  during  sermon  and  lesson,  even 
during  prayer,  and  has  marked  other  acts  of  ir- 
reverence. It  is  to  be  hoped  that  this  fault  is 
indeed  rare,  unless  it  be  in  very  young  girls,  who 
know  no  better.  But  as  the  fault  has  been  pointed 
out  by  one  who  has  been  sorely  pained  by  it,  will 
not  the  girls  and  young  women  think  of  it  a 
moment  ?  A  girl's  religion  should  be  full  of  joy 
and  gladness.  It  should  make  her  happy,  fill  her 
eyes  with  brightness,  her  face  with  sunshine,  her 
lips  with  song ;  but  it  should  make  her  so  reverent 
that,  in  the  presence  of  her  God,  in  prayer,  in 
worship,  in  the  study  of  the  Bible,  her  heart  shall 
be  silent  with  the  silence  of  adoration.  Dear  girls, 
remember  that  in  any  religious  service,  you  are 
standing  or  bowing  before  God,  and  let  nothing 
for  one  instant  tempt  you  to  whisper,  to  smile,  to 
do  aught  that  would  grieve  the  Holy  Spirit. 


GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  11 

Others  speak  of  a  want  of  respect  for  the  aged, 
and  especially  for  parents,  as  a  fault  of  young 
women.  "  How  often  is  the  kind  advice  of  a  father 
and  mother  set  aside,  just  because  it  goes  against 
some  whim  or  fancy  of  their  own !  A  desire  on 
the  part  of  a  young  lady  to  live  in  the  fashion,  to 
be  well-dressed  at  all  hours  and  ready  for  callers 
—  how  much  toil  and  sacrifice  often  fall  to  a  good 
mother  from  such  an  ambition  ! "  The  writer  gives 
other  illustrations  of  the  same  spirit  in  some  girls. 
It  is  to  be  hoped  that  there  are  but  few  who  see 
their  own  face  in  this  mirror. 

Not  long  since  I  stood  by  the  coffin  and  grave  of 
a  young  girl  whom  I  had  known  for  a  dozen  years. 
She  received  a  fine  education,  having  finished  a 
course  in  one  of  the  best  colleges  of  the  land. 
What  did  she  then  do  with  her  education  ?  Did 
she  sit  down  as  a  lady  of  elegant  leisure  ?  Did 
she  think  her  trained  powers  were  too  fine  to  be 
used  in  any  common  work  ?  Did  she  look  down 
from  her  lofty  height  upon  her  mother  as  old- 
fashioned,  out  of  date  ?  No  :  she  came  home  from 
college  at  the  end  of  her  course,  and  at  once  went 
into  her  home  to  lift  the  burden  and  care  from  the 
shoulders  of  the  loving,  patient  mother  who  had 
toiled  for  her  so  long  in  order  that  she  might 
receive  her  education  and  training. 


12  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 

When  the  beautiful  girl  was  dead,  the  mother 
told  me  with  loving  gladness  how  Gertrude  had 
lifted  one  by  one  every  burden  from  her  during 
those  years,  until,  at  last,  the  child's  own  hands 
carried  all  the  household  care  and  responsibility. 
She  did  not  think  her  richly -furnished  life  too  tine 
to  be  used  in  plain  household  duties.  She  remem- 
bered all  her  mother's  self-denials  in  her  behalf  in 
earlier  days,  and  rejoiced  that  now  she  might  in 
some  measure  reward  her.  I  have  spoken  of  this 
one  young  woman's  loving  regard  for  her  mother, 
and  of  the  way  she  showed  it,  in  the  hope  that  it 
may  inspire  in  many  another  young  girl's  heart  a 
spirit  of  noble  helpfulness  toward  a  tired  mother. 

One  writer  notes  as  a  fault  in  some  young 
women,  that  they  are  careless  of  their  good  name. 
"  They  are  not  careful  enough  as  to  their  associates 
and  companions.  Some  of  them  are  seen  with 
young  men  who  are  known  to  be  of  questionable 
moral  character.  On  the  streets  they  talk  loudly, 
so  as  unconsciously  to  attract  attention  to  them- 
selves. They  act  so  that  young  men  of  the  looser 
sort  will  stare  at  them  and  even  dare  to  speak  to 
them."  In  these  and  other  ways,  certain  young 
women,  this  writer  says,  imperil  their  own  good 
name,  and,  I  may  add,  imperil  their  souls. 

When  will  young  girls  learn  that  modesty  and 


GIRLS:   FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  13 

shrinking  from  public  gaze  are  the  invariable  marks 
of  true  beauty  in  womanhood ;  and  that  anything 
which  is  contrary  to  these  is  a  mark  of  vulgarity 
and  ill-breeding  ?  Guard  your  name  as  the  jewel  of 
your  life.  Many  a  young  woman  with  pure  life  has 
lived  under  shadows  all  her  later  years,  because  of 
some  careless  —  only  careless,  not  wrong  —  act  in 
youth  which  had  the  appearance  of  evil. 

In  one  letter  received  from  a  thoughtful  young 
man,  mention  is  made  of  a  "  disregard  of  health," 
as  a  common  fault  in  young  women.  Another 
mentions  but  one  fault,  —  "the  lack  of  glad  earn- 
estness." Another  specifies,  "thoughtlessness, 
heedlessness,  a  disregard  of  the  feelings  of  others." 
Another  thinks  some  young  women  "  so  weak  and 
dependent  that  they  incur  the  risk  of  becoming  a 
living  embodiment  of  the  wicked  proverb, '  So  good 
that  they  are  good  for  nothing.' "  On  the  other 
hand,  however,  one  writer  deplores  just  the  reverse 
of  this,  the  tendency  in  young  women  to  be  inde- 
pendent, self-reliant,  appearing  not  to  need  protec- 
tion and  shelter. 

Doubtless  there  is  truth  in  both  these  criticisms  : 
there  are  some  young  women  who  are  so  dainty,  so 
accomplished,  so  delicate,  that  they  can  be  of  little 
use  in  this  world.  When  misfortune  comes  to  such 
and  they  are  thrown  out  of  the  cosey  nest,  they  are 


14  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS, 

in  a  most  pitiable  condition  indeed.  They  can  do 
nothing  to  provide  for  themselves.  Then  there  are 
others  who  so  pride  themselves  on  their  independ- 
ence, that  one  of  the  sweetest  charms  of  womanhood 
is  lost  —  the  charm  of  gentle  trustfulness. 

I  have  suggested  enough  faults  for  one  lesson,  — 
perhaps  as  many  as  you  can  carry  in  your  mind, 
certainly  as  many  as  you  can  correct,  —  although  I 
have  not  exhausted  the  list  that  I  find  in  my  cor- 
respondence. As  I  said  at  the  beginning,  these 
faults  are  pointed  out,  not  in  the  spirit  of  criticism, 
but  in  the  spirit  of  kindness,  of  truest  interest,  and 
with  desire  to  help.  Many  of  them  may  seem  very 
trivial  faults,  but  small  specks  stain  the  whiteness 
of  a  fair  robe.  "  Little  things  make  perfection." 
You  cannot  afford  to  keep  the  least  discovered 
fault  in  your  character  or  conduct,  for  little  blem- 
ishes are  the  beginnings  of  greater  ones  that  by  and 
by  will  destroy  all  the  beauty  of  life. 

"  It  is  the  little  rift  within  the  lute 
That  by  and  by  will  make  the  music  mute, 

And,  ever  widening,  slowly  silence  all — 
The  little  rift  within  the  lover's  lute  ; 
Or  little  pitted  speck  in  garnered  fruit, 

That  rotting  inward,  slowly  moulders  all." 

Will  you  not,  then,  pray  this  prayer :  "  Cleanse 
thou  me  from  secret  faults  "  ?  Do  not  try  to  hide 


GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  15 

your  faults  —  hiding  them  does  not  cure  them. 
Every  true  woman  wants  to  grow  into  perfect  moral 
and  spiritual  beauty.  In  order  to  do  this,  she 
wants  to  know  wherein  she  fails,  what  blemishes 
others  see  in  her,  what  blemishes  God  sees  in  her. 
Then,  as  quickly  as  she  discovers  the  faults,  she 
wants  to  have  them  removed.  The  old  artist 
Apelles  had  for  his  motto :  "  Nulla  dies  sine  linea  " 
— "  No  day  without  a  line."  Will  you  not  take 
this  motto  for  yours,  and  seek  every  day  to  get  the 
victory  over  some  little  blemish,  to  get  some  fault 
corrected,  to  get  in  your  life  a  little  more  of  the 
beauty  of  perfect  womanhood  ?  "  Cleanse  thou 
me,  0  Lord,  from  secret  faults." 

Now  I  turn  your  thoughts  away  from  faults  to 
ideals.  The  second  question  was:  "What  are 
some  of  the  essential  elements  of  character  in  your 
ideal  of  true  young  womanhood  ? "  Here  also  I 
can  give  only  very  few  of  the  answers  received. 

Nearly  every  one  emphasizes  the  element  of 
gentleness.  One  says  :  "  I  like  to  see  a  young  lady 
kind  and  agreeable  to  all,  yet  dignified."  "  Gentle 
in  speech,  voice,  and  manner ;  full  of  love  for  her 
home,  yet  firm  and  decided  in  her  convictions," 
says  another.  One  sums  up  his  ideal  in  these  par- 
ticulars :  "  An  unspotted  character,  a  cheerful  dis- 
position, a  generous,  untiriug  heart,  and  a  brave 


16  GIRLS:    FAULTS   AND  IDEALS. 

will."  Nearly  all  put  strength  with  gentleness,  in 
some  form.  "All  the  firmness  that  does  not 
exclude  delicacy,  and  all  the  softness  that  does  not 
imply  weakness.  Loving,  helpful,  and  trusting, 
she  must  be  able  to  soothe  anxiety  by  her  presence ; 
charm  and  allay  irritability  by  her  sweetness  of 
temper."  Another  writes  :  "  A  beauty  of  spirit  in 
which  love,  gentleness,  and  kindness  are  mingled. 
Patience  and  meekness,  fortitude,  a  well-governed 
temper,  sympathy,  and  tenderness."  Says  another : 
"Kind,  courteous,  humble,  and  affectionate  to  old 
and  young,  rich  and  poor,  yet  ambitious  to  right 
limits."  One  young  man  writes :  "  Loving  and 
kind,  a  Christian  in  heart  and  acts ;  a  character 
based  on  Christ  and  his  teachings."  Then  follows 
this  noble  tribute :  "  My  own  mother  has  lived 
and  proved  this  ideal  for  me." 

Of  this  tenor  are  all  the  letters.  Without  gentle- 
ness no  woman  can  be  truly  beautiful.  Cruelty  in 
a  man  is  a  sad  disfigurement,  but  in  a  woman  it  is 
the  marring  of  all  her  loveliness. 

Purity  is  another  element  which,  in  many  of  the 
letters,  is  emphasized.  I  need  not  quote  the  words. 
I  need  only  remind  you  that  purity  must  have  its 
home  in  the  heart,  if  it  is  to  be  the  glory  of  the 
life.  "Blessed  are  the  pure  in  heart,"  is  the 
Master's  beatitude. 


GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  17 

"  You  are  pure,  you  say;  are  your  thoughts  as  white 
As  the  snow  that  falls  with  the  midnight's  hush  ? 
Could  you  see  them  blazoned  in  letters  of  light, 
For  the  world  to  read,  and  feel  no  blush  ? 

If  you  stood  in  the  court  of  heaven,  mid  swift, 
Glad  greetings  of  loved  ones  who  know  no  wrong, 

Could  you  bare  your  heart  to  them  all,  and  lift 
Unshrinking  eyes  to  that  spotless  throng  ?  " 

Faithfulness  is  named  by  many  as  another  essen- 
tial element  in  true  womanhood.  One  answers  : 
"  Courage  to  take  a  positive  stand  on  all  moral  ques- 
tions. .  .  .  Industry  that  consists  in  something 
more  than  playing  mechanically  a  few  pieces  on  the 
piano,  or  tracing  grotesque  figures  in  wool  or  silk." 
Here  two  elements  of  faithfulness  are  indicated  — 
faithfulness  in  one's  place  in  all  one's  work,  and 
moral  faithfulness  in  following  conscience.  Other 
letters  suggest  practically  the  same  essential  qual- 
ity. 

It  is  impossible  to  over-emphasize  this  element. 
The  time  has  gone  by  forever  when  woman,  in 
Christian  lands,  can  be  regarded  as  a  mere  ornament, 
and  can  be  shut  out  of  active  life.  She  is  not  a 
doll  or  a  toy.  She  has  her  duties  and  responsibili- 
ties. She  is  not  born  merely  to  be  married  as  soon 
as  possible,  and  from  girlhood  to  consider  her 
wedding  as  the  goal  of  her  life.  Thousands  of 


18  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 

young  women  will  never  be  married,  and  yet  their 
life  need  not  be  a  failure  though  their  fingers  are 
never  circled  by  a  wedding-ring.  Women  have 
immortal  souls.  Their  heaven  does  not  depend 
upon  being  linked  with  a  husband,  as  the  Mormons 
teach.  Marriage  is  a  good  thing  for  a  woman,  if 
she  marry  well.  I  honor  marriage  as  one  of  the 
holiest  and  most  sacred  of  God's  ordinances. 

But  here  is  the  truth  which  I  want  to  impress, 
that  a  young  woman  should  not  begin  her  life  with 
the  thought  that  she  must  get  a  husband.  Oh,  the 
sad  desecration  of  womanhood  that  such  a  purpose 
in  life  produces  !  Every  young  girl  should  set  for 
her  great  central  aim  in  life,  to  be  a  woman,  a  true, 
noble,  pure,  holy  woman,  to  seek  ever  the  highest 
things  ;  to  learn  from  her  Master  her  whole  duty 
and  responsibility  in  this  world,  and  to  do  the  one 
and  fulfil  the  other.  That  should  be  her  aim,  —  to 
realize  in  her  character  all  the  possibilities  of  her 
womanhood,  and  to  do  all  the  work  for  her  Master 
which  he  may  give  her  to  do.  Then,  if  God  shall 
call  her  to  be  a  wife,  let  her  still  go  on  with  the 
same  reverence,  faith,  and  love,  in  whatever  lines 
she  may  be  led.  I  call  young  women  to  faithful- 
ness—  that  is  all,  simple  faithfulness.  Accept 
your  duty,  and  do  it.  Accept  your  responsibility, 
and  meet  it.  Be  true  in  every  relation  you  ar* 


GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  19 

called  to  fill.  Be  brave  enough  to  be  loyal  always 
to  your  womanhood. 

One  letter  refers  to  what  a  true  and  noble  sister 
may  be  to  her  brother,  especially  of  the  better 
than  angel  guardianship  of  an  older  sister  over  her 
younger  brother.  Evidently  this  young  man  writes 
with  the  consciousness  that  he  himself  has  had  the 
benediction  of  such  an  older  sister.  Volumes 
could  be  written  concerning  such  ministries.  Moses 
was  not  the  only  child  by  whose  infancy's  cradle 
an  older  sister  has  kept  sacred  watch.  He  was  not 
the  only  great  man  who  has  owed  much  of  his 
greatness  to  a  faithful,  self-denying  Miriam. 
Many  a  man  who  is  now  honored  in  the  world 
owes  all  his  power  and  influence  to  a  woman,  per- 
haps too  much  forgotten  now,  perhaps  worn  and 
wrinkled,  beauty  gone,  brightness  faded,  living 
alone  and  solitary,  but  who,  in  the  days  of  his 
youth,  was  guardian  angel  to  him,  freely  pouring 
out  the  best  and  richest  of  her  life  for  him,  giving 
the  very  blood  of  her  veins  that  he  might  have 
more  life ;  denying  herself  even  needed  comforts 
that  he,  her  heart's  pride,  might  be  educated  and 
might  become  a  noble  man  among  men. 

Men  who  have  true-hearted,  self-forgetful  older 
sisters  rarely  ever  honor  them  half  enough  for 
their  sacrifices,  their  unselfishnesses,  the  influence 


20  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 

of  their  gentle  purity  and  their  hallowed  love. 
Many  a  sister  has  denied  herself  everything, 
and  has  worn  out  her  very  life,  for  a  brother 
who  in  his  wealth  or  fame  too  often  altogether 
forgets  her. 

There  is  a  class  of  women  in  every  community 
whom  society  flippantly  denominates  "old  maids." 
The  world  needs  yet  to  be  told  what  uncrowned 
queens  many  of  these  women  are,  what  undeco- 
rated  heroines,  what  blessings  to  humanity,  what 
builders  of  homes,  what  servants  of  others  and  of 
Christ.  In  thousands  of  cases  they  remain  unmar- 
ried for  the  sake  of  their  families.  Many  of  them 
have  refused  brilliant  offers  of  marriage  that  they 
might  remain  at  home  to  be  the  shield  and  comfort 
and  stay  of  parents  growing  feeble  and  needing 
their  gentle  care.  Hundreds  more  there  are  who 
have  hidden  away  their  own  heart-hunger  that  they 
might  devote  their  lives  to  good  deeds  for  Christ 
and  for  humanity. 

Florence  Nightingale  denied  herself  the  joy  and 
sweetness  of  wedded  happiness,  and  gave  her  life 
to  service  in  army  hospitals,  carrying  to  wounded 
and  weary  men  the  blessing  of  her  kindly  ministry, 
instead  of  shutting  it  up  within  the  walls  of  a 
home  of  her  own.  And  "Sister  Dora,"  who 
wrought  with  such  brave  spirit  in  English  pest- 


GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  21 

houses,  "whose  story  is  as  a  helpful  evangel,  was 
the  bride  of  the  world's  sorrow  only."  Every 
community  has  its  own  examples  of  those  whose 
hands  have  not  felt  the  pressure  of  the  wedding- 
ring  because  home  loved  ones  seemed  to  need  their 
affection  and  their  service.  We  ought  to  honor 
these  unmarried  women.  Many  of  them  are  the 
true  heroines,  the  real  sisters  of  mercy,  of  the 
communities  where  they  live.  Those  who  some- 
times speak  lightly  of  them  might  better  bow  down 
before  them  in  reverence  and  kiss  the  hands, 
wrinkled  now  and  faded,  which  never  have  been 
clasped  in  marriage.  Some  one,  by  the  coffin  of 
one  of  these  unwedded  queens,  writes  of  the 
folded  hands : 


"  Eoughened  and  worn  with  ceaseless  toil  and  care, 
No  perfumed  grace,  no  dainty  skill,  had  these  : 
They  earned  for  whiter  hands  a  jewelled  ease, 

And  kept  the  scars  unlovely  for  their  share. 

Patient  and  slow,  they  had  the  will  to  bear 
The  whole  world's  burdens,  but  no  power  to  seize 
The  flying  joys  of  life,  the  gifts  that  please, 

The  gold  and  gems  that  others  find  so  fair. 
Dear  hands,  where  bridal  jewel  never  shone, 

Whereon  no  lover's  kiss  was  ever  pressed, 

Crossed  in  unwonted  quiet  on  the  breast, 
I  see  through  tears  your  glory,  newly  won, 
The  golden  circlet  of  life's  work  well  done, 

Set  with  the  shining  pearl  of  perfect  rest." 


22  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND   IDEALS. 

Every  writer  speaks  of  Christlikeness  as  the  real 
crown  and  completeness  of  all  womanly  character. 
I  have  not  space  to  quote  the  words  of  any  letter. 
I  may  say  only  that  Christ  is  not  merely  the  ideal, 
the  pattern,  for  every  young  woman  to  model  her 
life  upon,  but  that  Christ  is  to  be  her  Friend  as 
well  as  her  Saviour,  her  Master,  her  Helper,  Mary, 
sitting  at  Christ's  feet,  is  a  loving  picture  which 
every  young  girl  ought  to  keep  framed  in  her 
heart.  One  letter  sums  up  the  ideal  womanhood 
in  these  elements :  "  Trustfulness,  hopefulness, 
joyfulness,  peacefulness."  But  Christ  must  be  in 
your  heart  before  you  can  have  these  qualities  in 
your  life. 

Let  me  now  turn  your  thoughts  to  the  other 
Scripture  text.  "  The  King's  daughter  is  all  glori- 
ous within  ;  her  clothing  is  of  wrought  gold."  As 
the  words  read  in  our  Common  Version,  they  seem 
to  describe  the  heart  life  and  the  outer  life,  or 
conduct.  "  All  glorious  within,"  with  heart  pure, 
beautiful,  radiant,  bearing  the  image  of  Christ. 
"  Her  clothing  is  of  wrought  gold,"  woven  of 
threads  of  gold ;  that  is,  her  outward  life  also  is 
pure,  beautiful,  radiant,  Christ-like.  This  is  the 
King's  Daughters'  text ;  it  is  the  motto  which 
gives  them  the  aim  of  all  their  life  and  activity. 
Let  us  look  at  it  a  few  moments  as  containing  the 
Scriptural  ideal  for  all  young  womanhood. 


GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  23 

"  All  glorious  within."  That  is  the  first  thing  to 
seek  in  your  ideal  of  true  young  "womanhood. 
You  must  have  your  heart  right,  and  it  must  be 
kept  right.  An  evil  heart  never  made  a  holy  life. 
A  dark  heart  never  made  a  shining  life.  A  selfish 
heart  never  made  an  unselfish  life.  A  sad  heart 
never  made  a  glad  life.  Says  Faber  :  "  There  are 
souls  in  the  world  who  have  the  gift  of  finding  joy 
everywhere,  and  of  leaving  it  behind  them  when 
they  go.  Joy  gushes  from  under  their  fingers  like 
jets  of  light.  Their  influence  is  an  inevitable 
gladdening  of  the  heart.  It  seems  as  if  a  shadow 
of  God's  own  gift  had  passed  upon  them.  They 
give  light  without  meaning  to  shine.  These  bright 
hearts  have  a  great  work  to  do  for  God." 

The  reason  these  lives  are  such  benedictions  is 
because  they  are  all  glorious  within.  I  cannot 
press  home  this  truth  too  earnestly.  Everything 
depends  upon  the  heart.  The  heart  makes  the  life. 
A  beautiful  soul  will  make  even  a  homely  face 
beautiful.  Seek,  dear  girls,  to  be  "all  glorious 
within." 

There  is  only  one  way.  Our  natural  hearts  are 
not  beautiful,  not  pure,  not  glorious.  We  must  let 
Christ  wash  our  souls  till  they  are  made  whiter 
than  snow.  We  must  let  the  Holy  Spirit  cleanse 
us  and  purify  us  and  glorify  our  life  within.  Here 


24  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 

is  a  little  prayer  for  all   who  would  have   their 
hearts  transformed : 


'  Holy  Spirit,  dwell  with  me: 
I  myself  would  holy  be: 
Separate  from  sin,  I  would 
Choose  and  cherish  all  things  good: 
And  whatever  I  can  be, 
Give  to  him  who  gave  me  thee." 


"  Her  clothing  is  of  wrought  gold."  Not  only  is 
the  inner  life  of  the  King's  daughter  all  glorious, 
but  her  outer  life  also  is  resplendent.  Her  char- 
acter is  beautiful.  Her  disposition  is  kindly.  Her 
spirit  is  gentle.  She  does  lovely  things.  The 
heart  makes  the  life.  A  glorious  light  within 
shines  out  and  transfigures  all  the  being.  It  is 
wonderful  how  the  whole  life  is  brightened  by  a 
loving,  joyful  heart.  So  I  counsel  the  young 
women  to  seek  to  have  their  very  faces  shine  with 
the  glory  of  peace.  Watch  your  life,  your  temper, 
your  disposition,  your  conduct,  your  acts,  your 
words.  You  are  a  daughter  of  the  King;  wear 
your  royal  garments  wherever  you  may  go.  Go 
continually  on  your  King's  errands. 

You  know  the  morning  prayer  which  each 
"  King's  Daughter  "  is  requested  to  offer  :  "  Take 
me,  Lord,  and  use  ine  to-day  as  thou  wilt.  What- 


GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  25 

ever  work  thou  hast  for  me  to  do,  give  it  into  my 
hands.  If  there  are  those  thou  wouldst  have  me 
to  help  in  any  way,  send  them  to  me.  Take  my 
time  and  use  it  as  thou  wilt.  Let  me  be  a  vessel 
close  to  thy  hand  and  meet  for  thy  service,  to  be 
employed  only  for  thee  and  for  ministry  to  others 
in  thy  name." 

It  does  not  need  great  and  conspicuous  things  to 
make  a  life  golden  and  radiant  in  God's  sight. 
Go  out  each  day  with  this  prayer  of  consecration 
on  your  lips,  and  be  a  blessing  to  every  one  you 
meet.  Be  a  blessing,  first,  in  your  own  home,  to 
those  who  love  you  most.  Leave  joy  in  their 
hearts  as  you  go  forth,  or  as  they  go  forth,  for  the 
day.  Then  go  with  benedictions  to  every  other 
life  you  meet  or  touch. 

We  are  told  of  Jesus  that  when  persons  touched 
even  his  garment's  hem,  virtue  went  out  of  him 
and  healed  them.  We  read  of  Peter  that  the 
people  laid  their  sick  in  the  street,  that  the 
apostle's  shadow  as  he  passed  by  might  fall  on 
them  and  heal  them.  It  should  be  so,  dear  Chris- 
tian young  people,  with  your  lives.  You  should  be 
so  full  of  the  Spirit  of  God  that  at  every  touch  of 
love  or  need  or  sorrow,  virtue  may  flow  out  of  you 
to  heal  and  bless,  and  that  the  mere  shadow  of 
your  presence  may  have  a  benediction  for  every 
one  on  whom  it  falls. 


26  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND   IDEALS. 

Is  there  not  some  one  whom  you  know,  perhaps 
some  lowly  one,  whom  it  always  does  you  good  to 
meet  ?  Seek  to  have  your  life  such  a  reservoir  of 
good,  of  blessing,  of  life,  of  peace,  of  joy,  that 
no  one  can  meet  you  without  taking  away  some 
blessing. 

Some  one  may  be  discouraged  by  this  setting 
forth  of  so  high  an  ideal.  "  I  can  never  reach  it. 
I  can  never  train  my  life  into  such  beauty.  I  can 
never  be  such  a  woman.  I  can  never  do  the  duties 
of  a  Christian  in  such  a  perfect  way."  No,  never 
in  your  own  strength.  If  no  help  came  from  God, 
if  there  were  set  for  us  all  the  lofty  ideals  of  the 
Scriptures,  and  we  were  then  left  alone  to  work 
them  out  as  best  we  could,  unhelped,  we  might 
well  despair.  But  for  every  duty  and  requirement 
there  is  a  promise  of  divine  grace. 

Ruskin  says :  "  He  gives  us  always  strength 
enough,  and  sense  enough,  for  what  he  wants  us 
to  do.  If  we  either  tire  ourselves  or  puzzle  our- 
selves, it  is  our  own  fault."  This  puts  tersely,  and 
in  strong,  homely  phrase,  the  essence  of  such  prom- 
ises of  the  Scriptures  as  "  My  grace  is  sufficient 
for  thee ;  "  "  As  thy  days  so  shall  thy  strength  be," 
and  many  others.  "  Strength  enough  and  sense 
enough."  The  latter  is  a  fresh  reading  of  the  old 
assurance.  We  often  say  we  shall  get  strength 


GlltLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS.  27 

enough,  but  we  do  not  always  remember  that  we 
shall  get  sense  enough  for  every  duty,  every  per- 
plexity, every  place  where  great  delicacy  of  wis- 
dom is  required.  Yet  there  is  a  promise  to  any 
one  who  knows  that  he  lacks  wisdom  and  will  ask 
for  it. 

So  the  young  girl  need  not  be  afraid  to  step  out 
into  life,  if  she  have  Christ  with  her.  He  will 
show  her  the  way.  He  will  make  her  strong  for 
duty.  He  will  be  in  her,  and  will  help  her  to  grow 
into  radiant  beauty  of  life.  He  will  give  her 
wisdom  for  every  place  where  wisdom  is  required. 
As  you  bow  at  his  feet  Christ  looks  into  your  face 
with  love  and  yearning,  eager  to  grant  you  a  new 
blessing.  Ask  him  for  what  you  want  most,  and 
will  it  not  be  for  the  blessing  of  simple  goodness, 
the  love  of  Christ  to  fill  your  heart  and  pour  out 
through  all  your  life  ?  No  other  gift  can  be  such 
a  benediction  to  you ;  no  other  can  make  you 
such  a  benediction  to  others. 

I  cannot  tell  you  how  my  heart  yearns  for  the 
young  people  to  whom  these  words  are  addressed ; 
how  I  long  and  pray  that  they  may  be  cleansed  of 
all  hidden  faults  and  made  all  glorious  within,  and 
that  their  garments  may  shine  as  if  woven  of 
threads  of  gold.  With  all  sincerity  I  can  make 
for  each  one  who  may  read  these  pages  this  earnest, 
loving  prayer :  — 


28  GIRLS:    FAULTS  AND  IDEALS. 

"  Father,  our  children  keep! 

We  know  not  what  is  coming  on  the  earth ; 
Beneath  the  shadow  of  thy  heavenly  wing, 
Oh  keep  them,  keep  them,  thou  who  gav'st  them  birth; 

Them  in  thy  chambers  hide  ! 

Oh  hide  them  and  preserve  them  calm  and  safe, 
Where  sin  abounds  and  error  flows  abroad, 

And  Satan  tempts,  and  human  passions  chafe! 

Oh  keep  them  undefiled ! 

Unspotted  from  a  tempting  world  of  sin; 
That,  clothed  in  white,  through  the  bright  city  gates 

They  may  with  us  in  triumph  enter  in." 


THE   HAPPY    LIFE. 

By  CHARLES  W.  ELIOT,  L.L.  D.,  President  of  Har- 
vard University.  One  vol.,  30  pp.;  35  cents. 

President  Eliot  has  the  well-merited  reputation  of 
being  one  of  the  most  felicitous  of  speakers:  expressing 
his  thoughts  in  admirably  chosen  English,  concise, 
luminous  and  harmonious.  It  has  been  said  of  him, 
that  he  never  says  a  word  too  much. 

In  his  essay  on  "The  Happy  Life,"  he  addresses 
especially  young  people,  who  have  by  graduating  from 
college,  "entered  under  conditions  of  singular  privi- 
lege, upon  rational  and  responsible  living."  He  thinks 
that  we  are  all  seeking  the  happiest  possible  life  amidst 
many  of  the  old  discouragements,  and  some  new  ones 
peculiar  to  our  time.  He  discourses  of  the  lower 
and  higher  pleasures — those  of  the  table,  of  sight  and 
of  sound,  love  of  nature,  family  love,  physical  exertion, 
of  reading  and  of  society.  He  recommends  the  joys  of 
service,  the  importance  of  a  rational  choice  of  belief. 
"Earthly  happiness,"  he  says,  "is  not  dependent  on 
the  amount  of  one's  possessions,  or  the  nature  of  one's 
employment."  The  enjoyments  and  satisfactions  which 
he  so  eloquently  describes,  "are  accessible  to  poor  and 
rich,  to  humble  and  high,  alike,  if  only  they  cultivate 
the  physical,  mental  and  moral  faculties,  through  which 
the  natural  joys  are  won."  President  Eliot  argues  de- 
liberately in  favor  of  a  "rational  conduct  of  life  on  the 
this-world  principle,"  but  he  clinches  his  argument  and 
makes  it  doubly  effective  by  declaring  at  the  end,  that 
the  result  would  not  differ  "in  any  important  respect 
from  the  right  conduct  of  life,  on  the  principles  of  the 
Christian  gospel." 

It  is  a  very  clear,  able  and  convincing  essay,  and 
ought  to  be  in  the  hands  of  every  young  man  and 
young  woman. 

T.  Y.  CROWELL  &  CO., 

NEW  YORK  AND  BOSTON. 


''  -  °  «r, 
4,  O 


A    000  677  817    9 


Univers 

Soutt 

Libr 


